And Jesus said, “The things that make people wrong are the things that come from the inside. All these bad things begin inside a person, in the mind: bad thoughts, sexual sins, stealing, murder, adultery, greed, doing bad things to people, lying, doing things that are morally wrong, jealousy, insulting people, proud talking, and foolish living. These evil things come from inside a person. And these are the things that make people unacceptable to God.”
Mark 7:20-23 (ERV).

Heart here in Greek is called ‘Koran’. Its primary root meaning is “the thoughts or feelings (mind)”. It also stands for man’s entire mental and moral activity, both the rational and emotional elements.

Guide your mind and have a wonderful marriage! How simple it sounds but understanding it will go a long way in making your marriage better. A guided mind will lead to a wonderful marriage while an unguided mind will bring disaster in any marriage.

Before I got married to my wife, I had this mindset that her words are always sarcastic. It is true? No. But my mind had captured it that way and it began to work so negatively in my marriage. I can’t have a good discussion with her because I will always see something wrong in whatever she says. This singular thought patter caused a lot of damage to our communication. But thanks to Jesus who took me and began to teach me relational tactics. Our communication is getting better daily.  


Your Thought Is What Determines What Your Marriage Will Be Like.                                                                        

23 Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life. Proverbs 4:23 (ERV). 23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 (NLT).

“Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master”. As a man thinks

Your life is shaped by your thought. The way you relate with your spouse in any manner (be it sex, communication, appreciation; anything) is shaped by your thought this why you must guide your mind if you want a wonderful marriage.

If you can have your mind transformed to see your marriage the way Jesus made it; to talk about marriage, your spouse and your family based on what Jesus said even when they are contrary, it is a matter of time before your marriage will begin to become Christ-like. From experience, I have found out that I get better in my relationship with my wife as my mind gets renewed and as I think of her positive attributes. The principle is: focus on the strength of your spouse.

 How to guide your heart. 

 James Allen said “A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought forces upon the object which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and

imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his purpose (as he necessarily must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph”.

 Focus on the strength of your spouse.

8 And now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about. Philippians 4:8 (TLB).

8 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Philippians 4:8 (MSG).

Your spouse is not completely bad and he/she will never be. That challenging situation will fizzle if you can discipline yourself and be consistent in guiding your mind to focus on the strengths of your spouse. Your responsibility is to focus on the positive side and the strength of your spouse always these attitudes of intentionally guiding your mind to see the positive is what will make your marriage wonderful.

Relate To This Story…

Ten out of the twelve men that went to spy the land of Jericho in the book of Numbers chapters 13 and 14 saw insurmountable obstacles that will not allow them to possess the land that God ‘had’ given them. But two men, Joshua and Caleb show opportunity (Numbers 14:6-9). Why are there conflicting reports on the same scenario? The answer is the state of their mind determines how they perceive things. What are you seeing in your spouse?

 There are lots of good things about your spouse. Be at peace on your inside; refresh your mind and look in-ward you will see that your spouse is wonderful and fearfully made. If you can see his/her positive traits and strengths, in your mind, you then you can see them outside. Think about them, pray about them and speak to them and you will see them.

Put your trust in the lord.

Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what the Lord wants, and he will help you go the right way. Don’t trust in your own wisdom, but fear and respect the Lord and stay away from evil. If you do this, it will be like a refreshing drink and medicine for your body. Proverbs 3:5-8 (ERV).

By your own strength, ability, and expertise, you can do little or nothing in any ugly situation (John 15:5). Why not look unto Jesus who is the bridegroom of the entire churches and learn from him (Matthew 11:28-30). When your mind is focused on Jesus, when you develop the habit and culture of trusting him always, He will give you peace in your mind. When your heart is peaceful, you can hear better, you can understand better and you can communicate and act better.

 In   Matthew 14:28-31, when peter’s heart was focused on Jesus, he was walking on water but when his heart (focus) was shifted from Jesus to the boisterous wind, he began to sink. As long as your focus and trust are on Jesus, be rest assured that your marriage will never sink no matter how boisterous the domestic storm seems to be. As a matter of truth, Jesus had perfected your marriage more than 2000 years ago.  Trust Jesus with your marriage and He will give you your heart desire. If not Jesus, my marriage could have ended long ago. Thanks be to Jesus who is continually maturing me in the act of marriage.


Guide your mind and have a wonderful marriage. Start by offloading every form of negative deposits in your mind; do away with them because they are cancerous to your marriage. Start feeding and filling your mind with the best side of your spouse because it is good for your marriage.

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