Understanding the causes of conflict is the first step in conflict resolution because a problem known is a problem half solved. Conflict can not be permanently resolved if the root cause of the problem is not known. Diagonizing and discovering the reason or the why of conflict is not to witch hunt any of the parties involved rather is the first step to finding a lasting solution.

In this small write-up, I want to throw some light on the causes of conflict because knowing and understanding the reason behind conflict will help you in handling it in such a way that it will benefit you and your partner.
These are two basic causes of conflict in any kind of relationship, they are (i) Self-centeredness and (ii) Pride.

The First Cause Of Conflict: Self Centeredness.

Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that make war inside you. James 4:1 ERV
Self–centeredness simply means the attitude of being not interested in want happens to others; am only concerned with what am suppose to gain.

Marrian Webster dictionary defined it as; “concerned solely with one’s own desires, needs, or interests”.

Self-centeredness is an indication of carnality; that is life in the flesh; a life that is not guided by the love of God. It is a sign that the love of God is not fully operational in a person’s life. Love of God (Seeking the benefit of your spouse first) is the direct opposite of self-centeredness.

If you are easily irritable or piss-offed, that is an indication of self –centeredness. But when you are operating in the love of God, it will be difficult for anything to piss you off.

There are two arms of self-centeredness; they are non-compatibility and, immaturity/inflexibility.

a) We are not compatible!
The expression; “We are incompatible has often appeared in almost all divorce cases and always available in almost all the conflicts that exist in marriages.
The truth is that people are not compatible because there no two people that are the same. Though you are not the same as your spouse, you can choose to fit yourself into the relationship. All that it requires of you are adjustment, tolerance, acceptance, and above all the understanding of the truth that nobody is perfect.
Stop expecting your spouse to think, behave and act like you. Two of you are never the same. According to the bible, you and your spouse came together and become one. Which implies that you complimented each other to become one. Marriage is the coming together of two different people who have different upbringing, orientation, and belief systems, and the no way two of you can be the same.

Understanding this concept is key in fighting conflict in relationships. somebody said that “A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to let go of each other.” To avoid unnecessary conflict, you must let go of the chase of compatibility; and leverage on your strengths while managing each other’s weaknesses.

b) Immaturity and inflexibility
The primary ingredients of all marital conflicts are immaturity and inflexibility (intolerance). Studies have shown that immaturity and inflexibility cause more harm in a marriage relationship than incompatibility. Immaturity has caused the death of many marriages than all other factors put together.

Maturity is the key to a successful marriage! Therefore GROW-UP! Make growth, discipline, and consistent self-development a habit and lifestyle. Choose between humbling yourself by paying the price for growth and maturity and seeing your marriage dead!

God loves varieties and that is why you are different from your spouse. If there is no difference between you and your spouse, if two of you are all the same, the marriage relation will one day become boring because growth and personal development will be hindered. But the greater your difference, the greater your potential for growth (please understand this and strive to consistently improve yourself).

The more you understand people (their circumstances, their background, their temperament and views (their belief system) the more patient and flexible you are going to be with them. People don’t change easily, therefore learn to be patient and flexible.

You have different backgrounds and orientations with your spouse including different temperaments and yet you want him/her to behave exactly the way you want. This will always lead to conflict.
It will be to your advantage if you stop being judgmental because there is a huge difference between your belief system and that of your spouse.

Maturity, therefore, demands that you concentrate on becoming a better version of yourself because it is the only way to get the best of your spouse. Deep calling unto deep, therefore the better version of yourself will call out the better version of your spouse.

Marriage is a place of learning and development; it can expose you to your faults and shortcoming. One of the purposes of marriage is to give you a platform to develop, mature, and grow to be like Jesus. It all requires humility.

If you are humble, you can learn from anybody (including your spouse); you can also learn from any situation or circumstance. You can learn to love and you can learn to adapt and co-exist with anybody. Brain Tracy said that everything is learnable.

I want you to know that it is more rewarding to resolve a conflict than to dissolve a relationship. Remember, an unresolved conflict affects your fellowship with God; hinders your prayers from been answered, and above all steals your happiness; therefore, it is to your advantage that you master the skill of conflict resolution.

It is of equal importance to know that human beings are naturally self-centered creatures. If you want to have a good relationship in any area of your life, you must learn how to think less of yourself. Joyce Meyer said; “If we live a self-directed, self-motivated, self-centered life, always needing to get our way, then we’re going to be miserable. Many times we believe it’s our problems that are making us unhappy when, in reality, it’s because we’re focused on ourselves!

Second Cause Of Conflict: Pride.
Pride only leads to arguments, but those who take advice are wise. Proverbs 13:10 NCV.
Proud people get their feelings hurt easily. Before I go further, let me quickly inform you that pride is the root cause of all sins (Including unresolved conflict and broken relationships).

You can’t have a flourishing relationship if you are not intentionally dealing with the issue of pride in your life. Pride can simply mean the inability to identify or own up to your blind spot or weakness.

a) Deal with Your Blind Spot
Why, then, do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your eye? 4 How dare you say to your brother, ‘Please, let me take that speck out of your eye,’ when you have a log in your eye? 5, You hypocrite! First, take the log out of your eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5 GNT

A blind spot is a weakness in your life that you cannot see or you are not aware that exists. Pride includes been ignorant or defensive of your fault and trying to correct other people of their fault.

God used this verse to deliver me and subsequently delivered my marriage when it was on the verge of total and disastrous collapse. I was always thinking that it was my wife that is the cause of the incessant conflict in our marriage.

Until one day out of desperation, I cried to God to help me and transform my wife and God shocked me by telling me that if I want a better marriage; if I want my wife to change that I should work on myself. He told me that if I can remove the log of wood in my eyes; then and only then I will begin to see the beauty and sweetness of my wife and consequently my marriage.

Until you deal with your blind spot (which pride has hidden from you) you will always have conflict in your relationship. Deal first with your fault and weakness before you can deal with that of another person. You can influence somebody to change but you cannot force any person to change.

These few questions will help you to locate your blind spot:
i. Can you easily say sorry to your partner even when you know that you are not at fault?
ii. Are you self-centered?
iii. Have you been unrealistic?
iv. How sensitive are you to the things that concern your partner?
v. Have been ungrateful?
vi. Are you over-demanding?
vii. Are you easily offended?
viii. Do you always feel like dominating your spouse?
ix. Are you difficult to please?
x. Is it easy for you to forgive or does it take time for you to forgive?
The secret of overcoming pride is to stop thinking first about yourself and concentrate on thinking about the good and the best of your partner. Above all, learn to say to your spouse; “am sorry, I think am been self-centered”.
These little exercises will help you to overcome pride, have victory over conflict, and then have a wonderful relationship (don’t forget that by your strength that you can make it, you need the help of the Holy Spirit),

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”

William James

14 Personally, I’ve been completely satisfied with who you are and what you are doing. You seem to me to be well-motivated and well-instructed, quite capable of guiding and advising one another. Romans 15:14(MSG).

According to the Oxford English Reference Dictionary, to appreciate means’

1. Esteem highly
2. Value
3. Grateful for
4. Understand the importance
5. Rise in value

Marriage relationship gets better when spouses learn how to appreciate each other. If you sincerely want to see the best of your spouse, you must master the habit of appreciation. Professor William James the great American psychologist said that the greatest need of humans is to be appreciated at all times.

Studies has shown that people do more when they are appreciated, therefore if you want to get more from your spouse, if you want the best from your spouse, you must master the habit of appreciation. This sounds simple but it works like magic. This singular habit is my greatest weapon in this journey.

Human brain is wired to pick out things that are not right or errors. I found out from experience and study that many people are fault founders. I also found out that fault finding inhibits development and growth. Therefore, whenever you want to make correction or suggestion, start with appreciation. What this does is to put your partner in a relax and receptive mode then you can make your correction or suggestion. Don’t forget to do it in love.

For men, appreciate your wives always. Appreciate her make-up, her dress, hairstyle, her body, her baby carrying, her food, etc. (If you don’t do that, another man can do it to her and that can be dangerous). It is after appreciating her that you can make a correction or suggestion or give her advice.

This is also applicable to women. Don’t allow an outsider to do it for you. Learn to always appreciate your husband; he is your covering and your head. Appreciating your husband will boost his self-confidence; energize him and motivate him to go all out to please you.

 Effects Or Benefits Of Appreciation.

From the above dictionary definition of appreciation, I deduced some positive effects of appreciation on your partner. And I believe that you and your relationship has a lot to benefit from it.

1. It esteems your spouse, boasts his/her confidence, and eliminates all forms of the complex. It might interest you to know that high self-esteem and self-confidence are prerequisite for success. The success of your spouse will contribute to your success and that of the relationship.
2. It adds value to your spouse which will be beneficial to the marriage relationship. I don’t think you will like to be in relationship with any person who has low self-worth. Appreciation is the surest way to raise the value or self-worth of your spouse.
3. It brings gratitude into the relationship and gratitude is an action motivator therefore, appreciation motivates spouses to do more. This is one of the wonders of appreciation; it makes people to do more. An Igbo adage said; “If you appreciate or show gratitude to any person, that person will do more”. Therefore, if you want more from your spouse, you must master the habit of gratitude and appreciation.
4. Appreciation shows that you understand what your spouse did. It gladdens the heart of your spouse when he/she is appreciated. People dislike all forms of nonchalance from people they have something in common with. For example how will you feel as a woman that your husband came back from work, move to the dinning, eat your food and continue discussing with you without making any mention of the food?
5. It shows your spouse that you have placed him or her on a higher level of value. It is generally accepted that we appreciate what we value. And people also believe that those that value them are the people that appreciate them.

Appreciation makes your spouse feel respected, accepted, understood, and loved. Sometimes, my wife will ask me: “do you see my new hairstyle? I will say yes. Then she will ask me: “then what did you do?”  At this juncture, it will be done on me that I have not appreciated her new hairstyle. These kinds of omissions are not good for any marriage relationship.

But What If…?

If for instance, you don’t like the dress or the dressing or make-up of your spouse or anything else, this is how you go about it. Don’t start with outright criticism, correction, or condemnation; rather start with appreciation and tactfully bring out your point. The appreciation will make the heart of your spouse open and receptive to what you want to say which can be correction, suggestion, or advice.

People see criticism, correction or scudding as an infringement to their self-worth. This will be taken care of by appreciation. Criticism and correction triggers defensive mood; therefore don’t start with them. Start with appreciation, this will deactivate self-defense and activate receptive mood, create an enabling atmosphere for better discussion, Try and thank me later.

Let me conclude by saying that appreciation motivates for more; the more you appreciate the more you get and the better your partner becomes. For instance, if a wife appreciates a little gift as small as hair tie from her husband, she should rest assured that more gifts and presents will come from the husband.

Appreciate your husband; appreciate your wife. Though he/she has not met up to your expectation, continue appreciating him/her. Don’t forget that God told us not to despise the day of little beginning. It will get better if you continue to appreciate and never give up.

Appreciation draws out the best in your spouse. Appreciation is the lubricant of a relationship. Nothing will ever work well in any relationship where appreciation is absent.

Action Exercise.

What You Can Do Now

• Make a list of ten things you like about your spouse. Make sure it is not less than ten.
• Choose the one you like most.
• When was the last time you tell your spouse about it?
• Tell him/her about this two times every day.
• Tell your spouse something good in the morning.
• Tell your spouse something good in the night.
• Give your spouse a hug when any of you is living the house.
• Give your spouse a hug when any of you comes back to the house.

There are three characters that you must have if you want to have a happier marriage. These three characters are the three pillar that holds marriage and keeps it standing against the onslaughts of the enemy. The three characters are the godly behaviors that couples must apply daily to their marriage to make it better and happier.

The importance of having and applying these three characters is to give a defense to your marriage, strengthens and empowers it and keeps it in a good healthy balance. As the foundation is important to a building so also are these three characters are important in building a happier marriage.

 KILL THE BLAME MONSTER.

Blaming is a subtle monster that has entered many marriages and gradually eating them up. When was the last time you told your spouse, “it is all my fault, am sorry, please forgive me? Are you in the habit of looking for a way to pile whole blame on your spouse? In the beginning, blaming looks harmless but over time, it grows and eats up the joy and happiness of the marriage.

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. James 3:16. Blaming brings strife and strife gives an opening for every work of the devil. It is what you want for your marriage? Blaming will bring to your marriage negative things that you can never imagine. Avoid it!

Blaming destroyed the first marriage

What brought about the fall of the first marriage? (The first marriage was between Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden). The quick answer will be that it was Eve ate the fruit from the tree that God told them not to eat. Then what happened? Adam started blaming Eve (he also indirectly blamed God. Eve blamed the serpent. None of them accepted the responsibility of what happened not to mention apologizing to God for their disobedience.

Ask yourself what could have happened if Adam and Eve had asked God for forgiveness rather than blaming other people except themselves?

Kill the blame monster and have a happier marriage.

Blaming has never brought anything good in any relationship. Maybe this has been the main reason why things are not working out well in your marriage relationship. Think about this and plan for adjustment. Change your manner of approach. Blaming is never the best; it brings strife and a whole lot of negativity with it. Marriage.

Think about what your relationship will be like without blame. Blaming is simply saying it is not my fault but yours. If your spouse is saying the same thing, whose fault is it? If both of you are right in, how then will there be a solution? This will never solve anything. Starting with yourself. If you are wrong, you know. Don’t defend yourself or blame your spouse rather say; “it is my fault, I am sorry, please forgive me. This will make a marriage happier.

DETERMINE TO BE BETTER.

For you are still only baby Christians, controlled by your desires, not God’s. When you are jealous of one another and divide up into quarreling groups, doesn’t that prove you are still babies, wanting your own way? In fact, you are acting like people who don’t belong to the Lord at all.

1 Corinthians 3:3

The child grew and developed in body and spirit. He lived in the desert until the day when he appeared publicly to the people of Israel. Luke 1:80

Positive changes and self-improvements are an integral part of the marriage relationship. You are not expected to be at the same level of behavior that was when you get married to your spouse. Everything around you demands that you keep on improving yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually and this requires high-level determination and discipline.

James Allen said; “Man is a growth by law and not a creation by artifice, and cause and effect is as absolute and undeviating in the hidden realm of thought as in the world of visible and material things. A noble and Godlike character is not a thing of favor or chance, but is the natural result of continued effort in right thinking, the effect of long-cherished association with Godlike thoughts. An ignoble and bestial character, by the same process, is the result of the continued harboring of groveling thoughts.

RAISE THE BAR OF LIMITATION.

Don’t place any form of limitation on yourself because it is a sign of inferiority or superiority complex. Any form of limitation will affect the happiness of the marriage. Raising the bar is a must-have character for a happier marriage. It means a willingness for improvement.

These are four cardinal areas of improvement that are required from you if you want to have a happier marriage.

1. Physical improvement. You are expected to keep improving on your body structure and eating (healthy) habit.
2. Emotional improvement. Keep building and keeping your intimacy with your spouse glowing.
3. Financial improvement. Don’t be a liability to your spouse and marriage. Make sure you are contributing positively to the financial upliftment of the marriage.
4. Spiritual improvement: Don’t lose or stagnate the fire. Keep on improving towards spiritual maturity.

 You Can Do All Things.

Devil wants you to focus on your weakness and inability and conclude that there is nothing you can do. But God wants you to develop the character of always focusing on his ability in you to have a happier marriage. He wants you to have the character of looking at a challenge and say I will overcome it because God’s ability is in me. This is the type of character that builds a happier marriage because it energizes and motivates and equips you to go out with the mindset of I can do it.

I Can Get Better.

Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won’t be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. 2 Timothy 2:15. You can learn anything! Don’t be stagnant in knowledge. Learn anything that you know that will be of benefit to your marriage.

As a wife learn how to cook new dishes; learn to look good always; just do the best of what you can do. Learn those things that will make your husband happier and subsequently bring a happier marriage. The same applies to you as a man. Improve on your caring and loving skills. Continuously improve on your romance and sex skills; learn to do some house chores; things like this will make your wife happier.

SPEAK THE RIGHT WORD.

You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say. 21 What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

Proverbs 18:20-21

Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on. 11 A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? 12 Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? James 3:10-12

Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit. Proverbs 15:4

Speaking the right words is a character that you must develop if you want to have a happier marriage. Stop being careless with words most especially when you are speaking to your spouse.

Marriage starts with the word; it is sustained with the word and it is destroyed with the word. Your words can build your spouse and it can kill your spouse. Read my post titled: I Did Not Kill My Spouse; I Only Spoke A Word.

Let Your Word Be In Grace.

Let the words that come from your mouth speak hope, love, and enthusiasm to your spouse. Learn to build up good emotional deposits through the words you speak to your spouse. Let your word put a smile on his/her free and bring him/her hope and peace subsequently making your marriage happier.

Your marriage will not survive on trial and errors or on unestablished assumptions until you acquire and develop the seven habits that guarantee a successful marriage. These seven habits are patterns of behavior given by God to be used in the marriage relationship to help couples make their marriages what he created it to be which is Jesus centered marriage. A successful marriage must run on divinely established habits which I summed and call the seven habits that guarantee a successful marriage.

Developing the seven habits that guarantee a successful marriage relationship is very important because you are into marriage to have and enjoy the best of marriage. You are not into marriage to experience pains, sorrows, disappointments, heartbreaks or divorce. These seven habits will help you to overcome any form of negative experience that your marriage is into.

The process of developing the seven habits that guarantee a successful marriage is not easy; that is why it requires a strong and burning desire, high-level life of discipline and rugged determination; above all it also requires complete trust in the power of the Holy Spirit. But the good news is that you can do it.

THE SEVEN HABITS ARE:

1. Self Analysis
2. Patience
3. Control words
4. Quiet time
5. Glowing intimacy
6. Forgiving spirit
7. Money management skills (MMS)

SELF ANALYSIS.

My marriage made a 180 degrees turnaround from a negative path to a positive path the day God told me that I am the problem of my marriage and not my wife. That revelation was the push I needed to go deep into self-analysis and subsequently a lunch into the process of continual improvement in my marriage.

 Matthew 7:1-5.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults — unless, of course, you want the same treatment. 2 That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. 3 It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. 4 Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your face is distorted by contempt? 5 It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

You must understand yourself.

Acquiring and understanding the habit of understanding yourself will unlock a lot of good doors in your marriage. When it settled on me that I was the cause of my marital problems, the first fault I discovered about myself was that I believed that my wife will never make a statement without offending me. This was a lie but I choose to believe it and it was causing a lot of friction in my marriage. The moment I called it a lie, things began to change for better between me and my wife.

It takes you to save your marriage.

Before God spoke to me, I was thinking that my marriage will change for better if my wife changes. The Holy Spirit helped me to found out that it was a lie. An unchanged person cannot change any person. If I don’t change, my wife will not change and our marriage will not change.

It takes you to save your marriage. What you need is to make positive changes to yourself. A change in your behavior will lead to a change in the behavior of your spouse. Marriage begins to get better when couples are willing and ready to make the needed adjustments, needed changes and stick to the requirements and discipline of progressive improvement.

Take a self-audit.

Take a frank and wholistic look at yourself. How do you communicate with your spouse? How are your romance and sexual relationship with your spouse? What will your spouse say about you when it comes to behavior, love, fellowship, friendship, recreation, etc.

PATIENCE.

Patience is one of the habits that guarantee a successful marriage because the bible said that when your patience (enduring ability) develops, that you are going to be perfect needing nothing (James 1:4). Stop expecting perfection from your imperfect spouse. Lower your standard and take it easy. Your spouse cannot meet up with your expectations overnight. You cannot also become the best in one day; therefore all you need is to be patient to yourself and your spouse because two of you are not perfect.

Patience is a habit that you and your spouse must have because without it marriages crash and end in divorce. Don’t be too hard on yourself because you are not living up to your expectation or your spouse because she/he is not living up to your expectation, rather prayerful endure and continue doing the best of what you can do and the desired or expected result will begin to come in’

CONTROLLED WORDS.

An uncontrolled word or utterances will rock your marriage while a controlled word is a kind of habit that guarantees a successful marriage because it brings hope and love and expectation when spoken. Words are powerful; they can build, it can destroy therefore you must acquire and develop

Try as much as possible to avoid offensive, abusive, insulting and degrading words on your spouse. Don’t kill your spouse with your words. Remember two of you are one, you are in your spouse, and your spouse is in you. Accord her that respect that you want him/her to accord to you.

QUIET TIME.

Quiet time is the act of withdrawing to a secluded place alone to give a deep thought about yourself, your spouse or what is going on in your marriage. Marriages cannot survive without deep thinking from couples. Learn to think before taking action because this habit will help your marriage to be successful

Don’t be quick to judge or come to a conclusion on sensitive issues. Take out time and present the matter to Jesus. Listen to his voice (the easiest way to do this is through the study of the bible). Seek peace that helps to be in a balanced emotional state. The habit of quiet time is golden therefore discipline yourself to learn it because it is going to help your marriage.

1 Corinthians 10:13 said that God has provided a solution to every problem therefore, quiet time is the habit of shutting your mind from every form of distraction in search of a way out or what to do. God has provided a solution to every issue of life; don’t forget this. This habit of quiet time when mastered will guarantee a successful marriage.

GLOWING INTIMACY.

Many marriages hard crashed today because of a lack of intimacy. Where is the level of your marriage intimacy (on a scale of one hundred present)? Is intimacy in your marriage glowing or is it dim or has it gone out?

Glowing intimacy in a marriage is a process of bringing down everything that hinders interpersonal relationships and inculcating things that build up close and a warn relationship between couples. This is very important because lack of intimacy gives room for all forms of marital problems and nobody is in marriage to endure but everyone is in marriage to enjoy the best that marriage can offer.

I wrote a blog post title 10 steps to Growing an intimate marriage. What will you say about sex and romance between you and your spouse? Are you running a marriage without sex? Does your marriage have sex but without romance? What will you say about your spouse? Are you proud or ashamed of him/her?

Any marriage without the habit of glowing intimacy will not be successful therefore if you desire and want to have a successful marriage, you must build the habit of glowing intimacy in your marriage.

MASTER FORGIVENESS.

The habit of forgiving your spouse will keep your marriage fresh and evergreen. Forgiveness is one habit the when you learn and continually apply it, it will give you a better, happier and successful marriage.

Offload every garbage and flush it down the drain.

In 2014, I and my friend Pastor Thaddeus were mediating in a marital matter between two young couples. The young lady told us that she had a diary where she keeps a record of the wrong that her husband does to her with a date. What made the shock so intense to me was that she uses one half of that diary to records church sermons and messages and the other half to record the wrongs of her husband.

You might be saying that she went to the extreme; I agree with you. The bad news is that she is not the only person that does this because unforgiveness is so common in today’s marriages. Couples are keeping head or mind records of the wrongs done to them by their spouse as far back as their dating years. People like this can remember vividly a twenty-year-old offense done to them. These are habits are cancerous and will destroy you and your marriage.

 Forgiveness Will Give You A Successful Marriage.

Keeping a record of offenses done to you by your spouse will take your marriage down the destruction, pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartbreak and final death (divorce). I believe you don’t want any of these for your marriage. If you desire a successful marriage, you must develop the habit of forgiving your spouse always ( except when he/she commits the same offense 490 times in the same day) because this habit guarantees a successful marriage

MONEY MANAGEMENT SKILLS (MMS).

Money that comes easily disappears quickly, but the money that is gathered little by little will grow. Proverbs 13:11

A woman that I counseled in Orlu in Imo State told me that the major reason for the friction she was having with the husband was that her husband wants to know how much was her salary, and she vowed never to tell him. The reason was that there was no openness between them.

 There Must Be Openness.

Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed before they were deceived. To be naked and not ashamed means that they were open and sincere; not hiding anything from each other. Hidden sin or interior motives impede openness in a marriage relationship. Finance and money management will always be an issue in any marriage were couples are hiding things from each.

Be open to your spouse always. This also is dependent on the maturity level of your spouse and the prevailing circumstance. For instance, Abraham did not tell Serah about sacrificing Isaac because she would never accept that. The bottom line is this; don’t have any skeleton in your cupboard.

 Learn And Plan Together.

Plan carefully and you will have plenty; if you act too quickly, you will never have enough. Proverbs 21:5

Have you attended a money management seminar or workshop with your spouse? Have you discussed anything you learn about financial management with your spouse? There is a need to

plan your finance together with your spouse. Make a budget together with your spouse. Two of you should be aware of the expected income and expenditure of the family. This type of habit ease tension and make the burden lighter for everybody and brings success to your marriage. This is working for me.

 Save And Invest Together.

Invest what you have in several different businesses because you don’t know what disasters might happen. Ecclesiastics 11:2

Accountability is put in place when couples save and invest together. Encourage your spouse on the importance of saving and investing together. This requires high-level discussion and communication most especially where couples have different ideologies on savings and investment. God made two of you be one therefore you are expected to have a lot of things in common.