Because you are still in the flesh means that you are not perfect and that means that you are prone to errors and mistakes. This is the reason you must be ready to take correction for adjustment and improvement in your thoughts, words, and actions.
The ability and habit of taking sincere correction are very important because a marriage where the couples are not willing and ready to take correction will hit the rock sooner than you can imagine. There will be no improvement in that kind of marriage and that marriage will not fulfill its God-given purpose.
Look at what the scripture said about correction: 31 If you pay attention when you are corrected, you are wise. 32 If you refuse to learn, you are hurting yourself. If you accept correction, you will become wiser. Proverbs 15:31-32 (GNT).
Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said. Exodus 18:24 (NIV). If Moses in his wealth of knowledge and anointing can take correction from his father in law, I believe you can do that also.
Why Is It Difficult To Take Correction?
There are several reasons why people find it very difficult to make corrections. In this post, I am going to bring out a few of the reasons and you will use them as a template to appraise yourself sincerely and take make amends that will improve your marriage relationship.
Inferiority And Superiority Complex.
Inferiority complex and superiority complex has been the major reason why couples find it very difficult to take correction from each other. Pride is the mother of both complexes and this the reason why people with complex problems find it difficult to take correction. Because of complex issues, couples don’t want to understand each other not to talk of taking correction from them forgetting that God said that they are neither inferior nor superior to each other but are equal in the grace of God (1 pet 3:17).
When you look down on yourself (inferiority complex), you will see your spouse as been oppressive and domineering which will lead you to a kind of emotional withdrawal and subsequently hinders you from taking correction. Also, when you see yourself as being better than your spouse (superiority complex), you will want to impose your totality on him/her and this also will make it difficult to take correction.
God created you and your spouse in such a way that if one is up, the other will be down to strike a balance for an effective marriage relationship. Be ready and willing to take correction.
The defensive mood is when one of the couples does not want to understand his/her spouse but wants to be understood from his/her point of view. This is also a complex issue. If you have the habit of not been interested in understanding your spouse but want your spouse to understand you or if all you want is to air your view with the hope that your spouse will understand you and you are not willing and ready to understand him/her, then it will be difficult for you to take correction.
Stop been defensive when your spouse is complaining about you or what you did because this will make you not understand him/her and when you don’t understand, you will not be able to take correction. My advice is that you should try and understand his/her grievances or the reason for his/her anger, this will help to do the right thing.
Breakdown In Communication.
Communication is a two-way process; the outgoing and incoming therefore it takes at least two people to have effective communication and in marriage-husband and wife. Breakdown in communication occurs when its flow becomes one-sided and when this happens, it becomes very difficult to take correction because of a lack of understanding of information.
Lack of good communication between couples will collapse, destroy or hinder the growth of any marriage relationship. Every thriving marriage relationship is an indication of the presence of good communication skills by couples. To have a better marriage relationship, you must learn the needed communication skills and keep on improving it.
When there is a breakdown in communication, it hinders empathy. And this will hinder empathy and shut down communication. Don’t look down on yourself (that is inferiority complex). This will make you think that your spouse is taking advantage of you. Neither will you look too highly of yourself (this is superiorly complex) which will make you think that your spouse does not know what he/she is saying. These two extremes slow or shut down the flow of communication and hinders the acceptance of correction.
Attitudes That Will Help You To Give And Take Correction.
The act of taking and giving correction is a habit that does not come easily because of human nature. Nobody is perfect because we are still in the flesh. But some attitudes will help you to improve in this aspect hereby improving your overall marriage relationship.
17 “This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. 18 “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. 19 Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you… 23 If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.” 24 Moses listened to his father-in-law’s advice and followed his suggestions. (Exodus 18: 17-24).
This is just a call to a life of humility. Who is Jethro to compare to Moses? Has Jethro seen the face of God before? Has Jethro performed the miracles that Moses performed? Has Jethro the number of the congregation that Moses had? Was Jethro as educated and learned like Moses? The answer to the above questions is NO! Yet Moses in his humility took his advice and applied it to his ministry. Humility is a key attitude that you must have if want to be able to take the right and necessary correction.
Avoid Unnecessary Arguments.
Steer clear of foolish discussions that lead people into the sin of anger with each other. 2 Timothy 2:16 (TLB). Avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse because their outcomes are never good for the marriage relationship. The wounds they create can take years to heal. Just make sure you make your point in love with graced words. If he/she does not understand, allow it that way. The Holy Spirit will take it up from there.
Don’t Think That You Know It All.
But when Peter came to Antioch, I had to oppose him to his face, for what he did was very wrong. Galatians 2:11 (NLT). Paul challenged Peter openly, even thou Peter was older than Paul in ministry, Peter did not argue. He took the correction in good fate. Like I said earlier, you are not perfect and you will never be perfect therefore be ready to take correction from your spouse.
How To Receive Correction.
There is always a better way to do anything. In this section, I want to show you methods that will help you to know how to give and take correction that will yield the maximum result and give you a better marriage relationship.
Understand The Matter.
Develop the habit of understanding your spouse because this will help you in understanding his/her point of view when there is an issue or when discussing. You cannot make or take correction without first understanding the why of the matter. Acknowledge his/her point of view even when it is not completely true or correct. Then apologize to him/her. By this I mean to speak to his/her emotion. You must help your spouse to calm down.
When you now see that your spouse has come down (this can be immediate or at a later time). Then you can come up with whatever you observe or want to say. This is important because, at the state of calmness, there will easy follow of communication. At this point, you can correct, give excuses, educate or inform in love. And there is every likelihood you will be understood and everybody will be better and life goes on.
Have Respect For Your Spouse.
The real proof of love in a marriage relationship is respect. You cannot take correction from your spouse if you did not love him/her and lack of respect for your spouse is an indication of the absence of love. How much do you love your spouse? Can it be improved? Are there offenses and grudges that are bottled in your heart. Do you have an issue of inferiority or superiority complex? Sincerely answer these questions because they will help you in solving the issue of respect.
A correction done in respect will be effective and achieve the desired result. When you want to correct, do so in respect by making your words to be in the grace that is enveloped in love. Know when to correct. Understand your spouse to know when best to discuss certain issues. I am always cautious of the timing when I want to discuss issues with my wife. Anytime I allow my emotion to be in lead, I will miss it. In the end, I will see myself apologizing before I can be able to make my correction or express my displeasure. Human beings are very cautious of their self worth including your spouse. Please don’t puncture it.
Use The Scripture.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 2 Timothy 3:16 (NKJV).
The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right.2 Tim othy3:16 (TLB).
Make the bible your manual that will guide your marriage relationship. Anchor your inspiration for marriage relationship upon the bible. God gave us the bible to do the following in our lives:
- Doctrine: The bible shows you the path to walk on.
- Reproof: It shows where you have gotten off the right path.
- Correction: Then it also you how to get back to the right path.
- Instruction: Scripture shows you how to stay on the right path.
You cannot run a successful marriage without the word of God. It is not possible. Apart from your spouse, be ready and willing to make corrections from the word of God.
There is nothing like a useless person. Everybody can be useful at one point or another. And there is nobody that knows it all. It is only the Holy Spirit that knows all things. You cannot always be right. Your spouse is to compliment you in your areas or times of weakness. Have you forgotten that you have a different upbringing? Have you forgotten that both of you are wired differently? Don’t you know that you have different temperaments and chemistry? You are one but you are never the same. You complement each other to become one. A husband is not complete without the wife. So also a wife is never complete without her husband.